Happy Year of the Fire Horse

Year of the Fire Horse February 17, 2026 - February 5, 2027

A horse loves freedom, and the weariest old work horse will roll on the ground or break into a lumbering gallop when he is turned loose into the open. - Gerry Rafferty

Happy Lunar New Year! We are moving into the Year of the Fire Horse. The predictions are that this will be a year where things will happen fast. You will have to be a careful yet daring and determined rider to stay in the saddle at such a quick pace.  

In 2026 the restlessness of the Chinese zodiac animal horse combines with the intensity of the fire element. This is not a time to stand still. The New Year will bring transformation, speed and passion, new ideas, bold solutions, and a quick-paced change. It is the time to break free from old constraints, habits and thought patterns that hold you back. Prepare for action but choose your own direction if you can, and move with purpose. 

As you embrace the fast moving horse, understand that the fire element brings some danger with it. Fire brings light and warmth but it can also bring destruction to an established order. Plan and prepare wisely but move without fear. If you need a breakthrough in your endeavor, now is the time for action. You may have to walk and trot before you move into a full gallop, but move you must. 

No matter what the predictions for the Year of the Fire Horse may be, remember that you are the ultimate master of your fate.  

Wishing everyone Happy and Auspicious Lunar New Year - Dominique

 

   新 年 快 樂 

Dominique Allmon©2026

Planting The Seeds Of Excellence

By cultivating the beautiful we scatter the seeds of heavenly flowers, as by doing good we cultivate those that belong to humanity. - Robert A. Heinlein

For James

We may never know how many dreams may have been destroyed by the words of others or how many lives took a different turn because of lack of encouragement.

What if you could have been a very different person if only someone did not repeat it to you over and over again that you were useless? What if you gave up a long time ago because people who loved you told you that you would never make it in life? What if someone told you that you were too stupid, too ugly, too poor, too young, too old, to even make it in the big world? What if that person was someone you loved and trusted?

What if the chronic seed of insecurity was planted in your heart a long time ago and today you still struggle to become a respected human being?

I know people who had chosen "smaller" lives because their wings were cut off when they were young. Like many others I also gave up some dreams because I was told that people so much "better" than me could not make it in a particular field. Why would I even want to waste my time and energy when so many others have failed. This was back in high school and when I look back today, I still regret that I listened to my teacher who, instead of motivating her pupils, implanted in them the seeds of self doubt.

Don't get me wrong. One can still have a very successful and fulfilled life even if one gave up his early dreams, but this is not what I want to talk about in this article. Instead, I want to concentrate on the fact that everything we say has consequences.

Words carry enormous energy. It doesn't matter whether it is your private self talk, or whether you voice your opinions and criticize others. Every time you say something you plant a seed. Why not plant a seed of excellence? Sometimes a good word is all a person needs to see the light. A good word might be all a person needs to feel worthy again.

You may realize that sometimes your good words may be falling on a barren ground, but this should not discourage you from trying to motivate others. Some people have such strong beliefs about themselves that no amount of encouragement will help them change the direction of their lives. But there are many others who simply cannot believe that what they've got is all they deserve in life.

Imagine that you have met someone who was constantly discouraged and forgot to believe in himself. In a short time you realize that this person is a goldmine of knowledge and has some hidden talents. Imagine that your words of encouragement wake up his old desire to do exceptional things. Imagine that this encounter could change that man's life forever. 

This happens over and over again when people meet up with motivational speakers or success coaches. The good word sparks a wave of enthusiasm and a will to change. If this can happen to adults, why not encourage kids when they are still full of hope. Why not teach them to dream big? Why not plant a seed of excellence?

And remember to plant a seed of excellence in your own heart because you too are good and worthy and no one can take this away from you. But if you have nothing good to say to others or to yourself, do not say anything at all because your vitriol may cause more harm than you can even imagine. 

Dominique Allmon

Dominique Allmon©2026 

This article was first published here 

AI generated image source here 

Happy Year of the Dragon!

Year of the Dragon

On February 10, 2024 Chinese people all over the world celebrate the beginning of the Lunar New Year of the Dragon. The Lunar New Year is also celebrated in Japan, Korea and Vietnam.

 

The symbol of the dragon in Chinese culture is very ancient and dates back to the fifth millennium B.C.

In Chinese mythology and folklore, the dragon is an auspicious symbol of power, strength,  wisdom, good luck, and prosperity. In imperial China the dragon symbolized the imperial power of the Emperor. The throne on which the Emperor sat was called the Dragon Throne.

Dragon is usually portrayed by a long, lizard-like, scaled four legged creature that controls the realm of weather and water and is responsible for rain, floods, and hurricanes. Unlike European dragons, Chinese dragons are not evil predators, but they may be tempestuous and very unpredictable.

Dragon is one of the twelve animals in the Chinese zodiac. He is the fifth animal that arrived at the feast given by the Buddha. He is the only creature that is imaginary.  

Year 2024 is the year of the Wood Dragon. Wood is one of the Five Elements in Chinese philosophy. In the Five Elements system it is represented by the color green. The wood element brings qualities like growth, renewal, creativity and flexibility to the normally tempestuous nature of the dragon.

The Chinese geomancers associate Year of the Dragon with a new beginning and good fortune. This is a good year to start a business, expand your vision and explore new opportunities. Any new venture, including marriage, is bound to succeed. 

 

People born under this sign of the Wood Dragon are not only very gifted and lucky, they are also very ambitious, adventurous and rather optimistic when facing their challenges. They are considered to be loyal, compassionate and generous friends, and charismatic, visionary leaders. 

Those less fortunate who suffered losses and misfortune in the past may expect some positive change in the new year since the Wood Dragon combines the prowess of the dragon with the creativity of the wood element. 2024 is expected to be a year of growth and innovation. It is the year to freely express your ideas, pursue your dreams, fulfill your vision, and advance your career. In order to succeed, you need to be creative and flexible.

No matter what the predictions for the Year of the Dragon may be, remember that you are the ultimate master of your fate.  

Wishing everyone Happy and Auspicious Lunar New Year - Dominique

 

   新 年 快 樂 !

 

By Dominique Allmon

 

Dominique Allmon©2024

How to Be Grateful When You Have Nothing to Be Grateful For

The greatest source of happiness is the ability to be grateful at all times. - Zig Ziglar

Thanksgiving is a time of reflection. It is a time when families gather together to count their blessings and express their gratitude for all the good things in their lives. 

But what if you have nothing to be grateful for? What if your loved one or you were diagnosed with an incurable disease? What if you lost your home due to a natural disaster? What if you lost your job? What if you were a victim of a terrible crime? What if all your savings are gone thanks to the raging inflation? What if you lost someone? 

It isn't easy to express appreciation and gratitude in challenging times. When bitterness, fear, disappointment, anger, and uncertainty dominate your emotional landscape, it is difficult to be grateful. And yet, we can only survive the storm if we have hope.

Can we fake gratitude? 

Research shows that people who feel grateful are not only happier but also healthier. Scientists measured lower levels of stress hormones, less inflammation in the body, and even improved immunity in people who felt grateful or had thoughts of gratitude.* Wouldn't this alone be a good reason to motivate oneself to a daily practice of gratefulness? 

Do not compare your misery to the happiness of others. Accept reality as it is and do not suppress your real feelings. Instead, try to find something that will bring you joy every day and be grateful for it. Take time to observe nature, listen to music, read poetry, or talk to a dear friend. Take time to pamper yourself. Shift your attitude. Embrace activities that give you comfort and consciously express your gratitude even if you do not feel like it. If there is nothing at all, recall a happy moment from the past.

Start your day by counting the good things in your life and end it reflecting on all the things that warmed your heart: a smile from a child, a kind gesture from a stranger, a leaf falling off the tree and dancing before you... Make gratitude a habit. This will give you the strength to continue even in the most difficult circumstances. 

The tragedy of our existence is the realization that good things do not last. But neither do the bad things, and this alone is a very good reason to be grateful. 

Wishing you a very happy and healthy Thanksgiving - Dominique

Post scriptum

Stress kills so please, do not underestimate the impact your nastiness, your anger, your egoism and intolerance have on others, especially those who are sick, those who are trying to heal and are too weak or simply no longer willing to fight with you. 

When I wrote this post my husband who was diagnosed with stage IV kidney cancer in 2021 was still alive. His cancer treatment was terminated in October. We still had hope and felt grateful that he made it so far. I was in Europe, scheduled for a medical check up and could not be around for Thanksgiving. We were used to the fact that sometimes the only way to celebrate was to spend hours on the phone. On Thanksgiving's Eve James felt a little tired and weak but was in a rather good mood. On Thanksgiving Day, however, my husband's condition deteriorated considerably after his daughter, an obtuse woman in her late 40s, quarreled with him over the phone. She scolded him because he declined a dinner invitation that would have involved a 70-miles drive from Roswell, NM, to her home in Carlsbad, NM, and he did not feel that he could do that. This quarrel stressed and depressed him more than one could even imagine. He collapsed later in the evening and had to be taken by helicopter from Roswell, NM to a hospital in El Paso, TX. He never recovered and eventually left this plane of existence on December 15, 2023. He was 70 years old.

Also of interest: The Importance of Being Grateful

*Lilian Jans-Beken, Nele Jacobs, Mayke Janssens, et al. Gratitude and health: An updated review. The Journal of Positive Psychology. 2020/15:6. pp 743-782

Dominique Allmon©2023

You Too Can Grow Through Dark Times

 

Like the lotus, 

you too can grow through dark times and difficulties. 

You can rise again and again to shine like new 

because there’s something inside of you 

that the world can’t touch. -  

Jennifer Healey

 

Image source unknown but greatly appreciated

Achiever's Motto

Anything worth doing is worth doing well. 

Hunter S. Thompson 

Ikigai - Japanese Secret To A Long And Happy Life

People can feel real ikigai only when, on the basis of personal maturity, the satisfaction of various desires, love and happiness, encounters with others, and a sense of the value of life, they proceed toward self-realization. - Kobayashi Tsukasa

We seldom meet people who do not wish for a happy life. For many, the struggle is hard, but it shouldn't be. One has to simply love what one does. That's all. 

Nothing easier said than done. Unfortunately, most people end up in jobs they hate and vegetate unhappily till their retirement. Life is postponed for that later moment in time, when there is more money, more freedom, more time, more leisure, to do what we please and love. Unfortunately, that moment seldom comes, but if it does, it does not last long and does not bring the effect that we had hoped for. Happiness seems to be a habit that must be cultivated all life long. One does not simply retire from a tedious job and become happy the next day, but one can certainly change the direction of one's life early enough not to end up frustrated at an older age.

Have you heard of Ikigai? 

Ikigai is a Japanese concept of our reason for existence, very similar to the French raison d'être, or the ultimate purpose of one's life. The Japanese believe that everybody has ikigai. Ikigai is the force, the motivation, the passion that makes our life worth living. In other words, ikigai is what makes us tick. Those who find their ikigai can enjoy a long and happy life.

The Germans say that you are a happy man if you know how to combine the "nützlich" or the useful, with the "angenehm" or pleasant and enjoyable. Many of us have heard stories of successful Wall Street bankers leaving everything behind only to grow organic food or raise chickens on a farm. Such dramatic decisions are not necessarily motivated by money alone and there is always more to their story.

If your job doesn't make you really happy, but it pays for your lifestyle and allows you to keep up with the Joneses, you might not find your ikigai; but if you have moved to an English countryside to restore and sell antique furniture because antiques are your passion since your early discovery and exploration of your grandma's attic, you are meant to find your ikigai, even if the money you earn isn't buying you an English manor right away. 

 

 

Ikigai is to live to your own expectations, not to the expectations of others. If you are a lawyer because everybody in your family is, and this is your passion, you are the lucky one. However, if you were "coerced" in this direction by your relatives, but would rather be a concert violinist, you may end up unhappy sooner or later. Emphasis on "might" because a lifelong practice of law may help you discover aspects of your profession that are deeply satisfying.

Ikigai is to lose yourself in your passion or, in other words, find passion in everything you are doing, and carry it all life long. Ikigai is what makes the difference between a lethargic, tired retiree who isn't needed anymore, and a happy, energetic, active octogenarian who is traveling the world, painting landscapes on a seaside, learning Chinese calligraphy, or preparing for a marathon run.

Discovery of one's own ikigai requires deep introspection, courage, maturity, and a very honest assessment of one's current place in the world. The compromise one is willing to make in early twenties, may not hold up to the litmus test later.

 
Finding your ikigai early enough can make an incredible difference in your life. The choice between deep frustration and genuine happiness looks like a no-brainer, but this choice can only be made if one is brave enough to leave the assumed comfort zone.

If you can balance your chosen profession with your mission in life, your vocation, and that which you are truly passionate about, you are meant to experience ikigai.

How to find ikigai?

To find your ikigai you will have to honestly answer four questions:

• What do you love doing? - Ask yourself what it is that gives you the greatest joy and makes your heart beat faster.
• What are you truly good at? - Name your natural talents and skills that you have mastered.
• What is your vocation? - Do you have a cause you want to fight for? Is there anything you would do to make the world a better place?
• What do you get paid for? - What skills and services can you offer in exchange for money without compromising your values? 

Take a moment to look into your heart before you answer these questions. Take a piece of paper and write down your answers. You may want to use an ikigai diagram of overlapping circles to better illustrate common aspects of your existence. Reflect on your current situation and visualize where you would rather want to be. At the end of this exercise, ask yourself a question about what needs to be changed or done to bring you closer to your ikigai and follow this direction.

As I wrote above, certain maturity and a high dose of honesty is required to make big changes in one's life. If you are not truly happy, if you feel that something is missing in your life, you might have to take a close look at yourself. What you could find, might surprise you.

By Dominique Allmon
 

Dominique Allmon©2017

IKIGAI Long Sleeve Shirt design by my late husband James W. Allmon  Not an affiliate link

Mental Detox

Let's detox our cluttered academic brain. That's what the poet does. People call it daydreaming, detoxing our minds and taking care of that clutter. It's being able to let in call letters from the poetry universe. - Juan Felipe Herrera

Image: Tidying Up in Fort Canning Park, Singapore by Dominique Allmon©2016

Reaching Out For the Unreachable Fruit

There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they're necessary to reach the places we've chosen to go. - Richard Bach

Sometimes our goals may seem like a high-hanging, unreachable fruit. No matter how hard we try, the fruit remains elusive.

Too often we are tempted to give up. Too often we are willing to compromise and settle for much less than we really deserve.

Too often we have not even tried.

Too often talent is wasted out of fear. Too often dreams and ideas are smothered before they even start to blossom and produce fruit...

But this is not a way to achieve greatness. This is not a way to achieve anything at all. You can only achieve your full potential when you try and try again.

A failure remains a failure only when you stop right there and give up. But if you pick yourself up and try again, your failure becomes a stepping stone, an exercise necessary to the mastery of your final goal. You may have to start over and over again, but you will only profit from the lessons you have learned.

Just remember: "Strength and growth don't come from what you can do. They come from overcoming the things that you once thought you couldn't."  This is a really brilliant quote from Sandy Botkin's mother. I have never met Sandy Botkin, but I know that he is quite successful in his field. With a mother like this, probably no wonder.

You might have to work a bit harder than others, or at least you have the impression that you do. At the end of the road things will begin to make a lot of sense, just keep reaching out for that high-hanging fruit. A day will come and you will be able to touch it.

By Dominique Allmon

 
Dominique Allmon©2015

Image: High-Hanging Bananas in Fort Canning Park, Singapore by Dominique Allmon©2015

Speak Your Mind!

When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret. - Shannon L. Alder

Dear Ms. Alder! I know someone who was put in a situation like this not that long ago. He not only spoke his mind, but also consciously decided that nothing has the power to throw him off the chosen path and I admire him for his strength and determination.

See, a dear friend of mine joined a group of people who decided to make a major change in their lives. They were working hard for more than twenty weeks: weekly webinars, very long daily reading assignments, weekly blogging and networking with other participants of a program.

I will not go into details here, but for the sake of clarity I want you to understand that the program was designed to help people discover their hidden potential and to develop a so called Master Mind.

My friend is a man of exceptional qualities and integrity. He is a former Marine who served in the Vietnam War at a very young age. He worked on B1 Lancer and also in the Space Shuttle Program at the Space Center in Florida, but is very humble about his personal achievements. He joined the above mentioned program out of personal need for change. And for weeks he worked diligently reading, writing and networking.

The Master Mind program is a very powerful tool and it requires a lot of self-discipline. It addresses personality, character, behavior, physical body and spirituality. Many people embrace the program with hope for grand changes in their lives, while others drop out after first few weeks when they realize that this is not what they expected. There are also people who continue with the program despite inner doubt. And some will not bother to do what they were asked to do by the organizers. They do not write blog posts and do not have much interaction with others. But not my dear friend. He worked hard from the very beginning despite the fact that he works full time, has a long distance relationship and has to take care of three young, demanding pets.

The program required a great dose of introspection and at some point, as participants progress in their self-discovery, they are forced to change their entire life philosophy. The entire framework of habits and beliefs collapses as they look deeper and deeper into their souls. Personal growth and transformation are very painful processes at any age, but I believe that fully formed adults suffer more than younger people. They have to revise and reevaluate everything they have learned and done in their lives, and have to face incredible inner resistance to change that comes from within and from without. They have to overcome the strong temptation to give up and return to the safe zone they cultivated for years if not decades. Only the very strong and determined participants continue despite a genuine emotional pain and they receive very little little support when you consider that some of them become incredibly overwhelmed and may require a therapy.

The inner change is often accompanied by cascading events in Master Mind program participant’s life that make the day-to-day existence even more unbearable and yet, they try to follow the program despite the doubts that surface from time to time.

This was exactly what happened to my dear friend after one of the last assignments he received. The inner struggle slowed him down and he did not publish his latest blog-post on time as it was required of him. What followed next borders on ridicule and reminds me of a first grade school experience. He was told that he was disturbing the harmony and was punished with exclusion from the program like a first grade pupil who got suspended from school for misbehaving. Rules are rules and you will be punished if you don’t follow them.

There was no room for emotional or spiritual support. No tolerance for a man in crisis.

The most interesting thing in the whole situation was, though, that my dear friend did not break down completely. He was so strong and so wise, and so much beyond the framework of the program! I believe that he simply arrived at the crossroads where the program did not work for him anymore. He had the courage to speak his mind and I admire him for that. The “punishment” only precipitated his "liberation" from constraints and a decision to continue walking on his own chosen path.

I do not intend to make a judgment about the program, but as an objective observer I have an opinion and it is a valid one. The whole program sets inner processes in motion, but the participants are left alone without much psychological support when catharsis occurs unexpectedly. This is quite irresponsible.

Most participants face their pain bravely and try to use help of their support groups. What they need while moving on is empathy and support, not punishment and exclusion. Such actions remind me of dubious gurus who punish and ostracize their pupils at will to exert desire behavior and submission.

Many people face punishment, exclusion and power play in their daily lives. Only the very strong can survive without a scar. Such a casual “mistreatment” in the Master Mind program seems a bit out of place, but it can also be used to some advantage.  It may help strengthen participants who were let go. A few weeks earlier they might have become desperate and even depressed, but now they are strong enough to deal with the situation and maybe even laugh about it. Just like my friend!

By Dominique Allmon

Dominique Allmon©2015

A Courage to Say "No"

A man was riding a donkey. He saw a wanderer carrying a large bundle. “Are you by any chance on your way to Las Cruces?” asked the wanderer. “Indeed, I am” responded the man on a donkey. “Could  you give me a lift?” asked the man. “I am sure my donkey would not mind a bit. Get on.” said the man on a donkey.  

Relieved and happy, the wanderer got on placing the heavy bundle on animal's back and both men went on in silence contemplating their luck. After a while the donkey owner asked: “Isn’t my donkey great?” “Oh, yes sir. You have such a great donkey!” 

They went in silence for another mile when the man with a bundle said happily: “Don’t we have a great donkey, or what?” Shocked at what he just heard the donkey’s owner stopped the animal on the spot and told the man with a bundle to get off his donkey. “But why?” asked the surprised man. “I know the kind of you! First, it was my donkey that was great. Then, it was our donkey that was great. If it goes like that, after another mile you will probably tell me how great your donkey was! Get off! I have nothing more to say.”

Have you ever been in a situation where you had no choice but to say “No” to someone who seemed to have almost taken charge over your life? 

Last month a very good friend of mine was asked to baby-sit a dog. The dog’s owner had to go on a short trip and my friend did not mind a bit to have her dog in his house over the weekend since his own dog loved to play with the other dog. The woman came back from her trip and took her dog home. Only a few days later she demanded that my friend took care of her dog again. And again. And again. It did not matter that it was middle of the week and my friend was at work. He had to report at the woman’s house and take her dog with him. In no time the woman became a social leech – someone who would suck the life out of you but was almost impossible to get rid of unless, of course, you took a very drastic measures. 

Many of the so called “good souls” become victims of egoistic manipulators. We offer help, we offer advice, we are friendly, we do a favor for someone who asked and before we even notice, our friends, spouses, relatives, colleagues, neighbors or acquaintances not only come for more, they seem to move into the center of our attention and rearrange our schedules. They demand full attention and terrorize us with phone calls, e-mails and spontaneous visits. Sometimes the situation becomes so unbearable that we are to scared to even answer the phone or open the door. We suffer and yet, we are unable to say “No.” 

We are unable to say “No” because we fear that we might hurt or offend someone. We are afraid to lose a friend or be accused of selfishness or indifference. We love harmony and want social approval. And we would rather suffer or hide instead of facing the person head on. But is it worth it? 

The choice is really between our own frustration and our own happiness. Saying “No” may be the first step to a more fulfilled and happier life, but it takes a lot of courage. We might indeed become unpopular and lose some friends at first, but knowing that we are in control is more precious than friendships with unscrupulous people.  

Saying “No” does not have to be hurtful or offensive, but we have to clearly mark our boundaries. We do not have to please others, and we definitely do not have to put their needs before our own. 

Those who feel offended by our own “demarcation” are probably not our real friends because real friendship is based on respect. Boundaries do not put us into isolation, they simply define our private space in which we feel authentic and comfortable. Learning to protect our personal boundaries is necessary if we want to live a genuinely happy life.

By Dominique Allmon

Dominique Allmon©2014

Image source here

No Resolutions

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me. - Anaïs Nin

If you are like many others or, at least, like many people I know, last year at this time you have made a list of New Year's resolutions. You promised yourself to eat less, exercise more, watch less television, read more books, spend less money, spend more time with your family, polish the family silver, plant a potager garden in your backyard, learn Italian... 

It is very possible that you have succeeded and did all these things and I congratulate you for your determination and resolve. But if this is not the case and you have abandoned your resolutions in the first two or three weeks of January, I suggest you stop making lists, stop making promises you cannot keep and start doing one thing at a time.

Wishing everyone a happy and very successful year
- Dominique, who will definitely read more and write less in 2104.

Dominique Allmon©2014

Image source here

Stop Writing That Book!

A self-fulfilling prophecy is an assumption or prediction that, purely as a result of having been made, cause the expected or predicted event to occur and thus confirms its own "accuracy" • Paul Watzlawick 

Years ago a very troubled colleague of mine told me that she found a cure to her unbelievable unhappiness. She bought a then freshly published book written by the Austrian-American psychologist Paul Watzlawick. "The Situation is Hopeless But Not Serious" or "Sorge Dich Nicht, Lebe" in German, helped her cope with her own misery and made her laugh at herself, something she has not ever done before.

And we both laughed when she told me the story of a hammer.

A man wants to hang a picture on the wall. He has a nail, but does not have a hammer. He considers borrowing it from his neighbor, but before he even leaves his home a thought crosses his mind. He remembers seeing his neighbor just the other day. "The guy did not even greet me yesterday. Who knows what he thinks of me. Maybe he has something against me... He probably will not even lend me his hammer. Who knows what is going on in his mind. I am not like that. If anyone have asked me for a tool I would gladly lend it to him. How can a human being be so heartless! Such people make our lives miserable. On purpose! He probably even thinks that my life depends on him only because I need to borrow his hammer. Nasty man! But that's enough! I will tell him what I think of him!" Agitated, the man knocks on his neighbor's door. The door opens and before the neighbor can even say a word our protagonist shouts out "You know what, you can keep your bloody hammer, you...!" and walks away leaving his neighbor completely perplexed.

The poor man in this story has written a whole book before he even knocked on his neighbor's door. How many stories do we write before we act? How often we do not act at all because the story we have written did not have a happy ending?

Over the years I met many people with complete stories of their entire lives. One bad experience in the past destroyed all hopes for better future. Life was what it was and there was no reason to expect anything else. It even seemed to me that such lives ended long time ago and the unfortunate people were only there to turn the pages of their own creation.

Of course, things are not always as dramatic and not all of us get stuck in some kind of morbid scenario. Most of us write short stories, especially when we have to make difficult decisions or face particular situations or people.

Our creative activity begins early. Maybe as kids we did something wrong and were terrified to talk to our parents. Maybe we were terrified not because our parents were very strict, but because we imagined that they would punish us severely for what we did. The story we wrote not only prevented us from acting, but also protected us from pain that we might have experienced if we did talk to our parents.

Over the years we may have become masters of the genre. We always know better, and we know for sure that there are forces much stronger than we can even imagine that always act against us. 

A scary scenario unfolds when we interact we people who represent some kind of authority: parents, teachers, credit facilitators, spouses. We don't even need to try. We already know the outcome. So we leave things undone and words unspoken and indulge in our misery.

But would anything change if we stopped writing the book?

Change does not happen overnight. It takes time and determination to change behavior patterns that were perfected over the years, but they can be changed. With a little practice we could learn to shift our attention and concentrate on the action that has to be taken and not on the outcome we expect. Once we have mastered this new behavior we could learn to shift our attention and start creating positive outcomes, but this is a different story...

By Dominique Allmon

Dominique Allmon©2013

Image source here

 

Quote of the Day

After sleeping through a hundred million centuries we have finally opened our eyes on a sumptuous planet, sparkling with color, bountiful with life. Within decades we must close our eyes again. Isn’t it a noble, an enlightened way of spending our brief time in the sun, to work at understanding of the universe and how we have come to wake up in it? This is how I answer when I am asked  why I bother to get up in the mornings. - Richard Dawkins

Responsibility

I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen. How I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself. - Walter Anderson

The Procrastination Cure

Procrastination is a learned behavior and is best addressed one day at a time like any addiction. You must change the way you feel about yourself and how you view the events and tasks you avoid. Breathe, release and let go of your anxieties today that keep you disappointed. -  Jeffery Combs

People smile when I tell them "Do today what you can do tomorrow," but this is how I motivate myself to do things ahead if I have a little extra time on my hands. Let's say I have scheduled a particular task - laundry or ironing, for Wednesday, but realized that I have time to do it on Tuesday, what is stopping me from doing it earlier than previously planned? Nothing. And believe it or not, I really do it right away, before my mind even gets to invent ten reasons why I shouldn't do it a day ahead. Nothing "bad" would happen if I kept my schedule, but I know that I would not have to "postpone" anything if something unexpected came up on Wednesday. 

Everybody procrastinates, but not all of us are notorious procrastinators. However, some people procrastinate out of habit. They have mastered the delaying tactics. They would invent countless "important" reasons to delay, postpone or even not to do what they, sometimes urgently, must do at particular time, and they would persuade themselves that these "inventions" are not only true, but also pivotal.  

Procrastination is a self-defeating behavior. When we procrastinate we do not "cheat" others of their success, we sabotage our own. 

So what if not even a terrifying vision of failure would stop us from procrastination? What if we have faced embarrassment before and the world did not end? Maybe a vision of failure is not enough to prevent us from postponing important tasks. Maybe we have to fail completely to change our ways. 

Some people believe that they function better under stress and this my be true for them, but most of us fail to produce high quality results when we do things in the last minute before the deadline.  

Unfortunately there is not pill or potion that can be taken to cure procrastination. But since procrastination is a learned behavior it can be unlearned, although it may take a little more than introspection to find out why you procrastinate. Notorious procrastinators may need professional help of a success coach, but most of us can easily master the habit of now.

First steps: 

• Make a to do list and set realistic deadlines 
• Update your list daily Set up priorities - do the most urgent things first 
• Do not multitask - finish one thing before you start another 
• Block all distraction and concentrate on your task 
• Stop in your tracks when you hear yourself saying "I will do it later" 
• Stay motivated 
• Question your reasons to postpone or delay as soon as they appear 
• Do it now, do it now, do it now 
• Reward yourself when you reach you goals 
• Enjoy your success 
• Motivate others to do the same 

It is said that it takes twenty eight days to develop a habit - good or bad. To unlearn a bad habit one simply must consciously and rigorously reinforce the new behavior. This should not be too difficult when you consider that doing things on time will make your life less stressful.

With all the fear of failure gone, your life will be much more enjoyable and you will have more time and energy to do so many other things.

By Dominique Allmon

Dominique Allmon©2013

Taking Risks

Many of us are afraid 
to follow our passions, 
to pursue 
what we want most 
because it means taking risks 
and 
even facing failure. 

But to pursue your passion 
with all your heart 
and 
soul is success in itself. 

The greatest failure is 
to have never really tried. 

Robyn Allen

The Best Is Yet to Come

Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go. They merely determine where you start. - Nido Qubein, American businessman and motivational speaker