The greatest source of happiness is the ability to be grateful at all times. - Zig Ziglar
Thanksgiving is a time of reflection. It is a time when families gather together to count their blessings and express their gratitude for all the good things in their lives.
But what if you have nothing to be grateful for? What if your loved one or you were diagnosed with an incurable disease? What if you lost your home due to a natural disaster? What if you lost your job? What if you were a victim of a terrible crime? What if all your savings are gone thanks to the raging inflation? What if you lost someone?
It isn't easy to express appreciation and gratitude in challenging times. When bitterness, fear, disappointment, anger, and uncertainty dominate your emotional landscape, it is difficult to be grateful. And yet, we can only survive the storm if we have hope.
Can we fake gratitude?
Research shows that people who feel grateful are not only happier but also healthier. Scientists measured lower levels of stress hormones, less inflammation in the body, and even improved immunity in people who felt grateful or had thoughts of gratitude.* Wouldn't this alone be a good reason to motivate oneself to a daily practice of gratefulness?
Do not compare your misery to the happiness of others. Accept reality as it is and do not suppress your real feelings. Instead, try to find something that will bring you joy every day and be grateful for it. Take time to observe nature, listen to music, read poetry, or talk to a dear friend. Take time to pamper yourself. Shift your attitude. Embrace activities that give you comfort and consciously express your gratitude even if you do not feel like it. If there is nothing at all, recall a happy moment from the past.
Start your day by counting the good things in your life and end it reflecting on all the things that warmed your heart: a smile from a child, a kind gesture from a stranger, a leaf falling off the tree and dancing before you... Make gratitude a habit. This will give you the strength to continue even in the most difficult circumstances.
The tragedy of our existence is the realization that good things do not last. But neither do the bad things, and this alone is a very good reason to be grateful.
Wishing you a very happy and healthy Thanksgiving - Dominique
Post scriptum
Stress kills so please, do not underestimate the impact your nastiness, your anger, your egoism and intolerance have on others, especially those who are sick, those who are trying to heal and are too weak or simply no longer willing to fight with you.
When I wrote this post my husband who was diagnosed with stage IV kidney cancer in 2021 was still alive. His cancer treatment was terminated in October. We still had hope and felt grateful that he made it so far. I was in Europe, scheduled for a medical check up and could not be around for Thanksgiving. We were used to the fact that sometimes the only way to celebrate was to spend hours on the phone. On Thanksgiving's Eve James felt a little tired and weak but was in a rather good mood. On Thanksgiving Day, however, my husband's condition deteriorated considerably after his daughter, an obtuse woman in her late 40s, quarreled with him over the phone. She scolded him because he declined a dinner invitation that would have involved a 70-miles drive from Roswell, NM, to her home in Carlsbad, NM, and he did not feel that he could do that. This quarrel stressed and depressed him more than one could even imagine. He collapsed later in the evening and had to be taken by helicopter from Roswell, NM to a hospital in El Paso, TX. He never recovered and eventually left this plane of existence on December 15, 2023. He was 70 years old.
Also of interest: The Importance of Being Grateful
*Lilian Jans-Beken, Nele Jacobs, Mayke Janssens, et al. Gratitude and health: An updated review. The Journal of Positive Psychology. 2020/15:6. pp 743-782
Dominique Allmon©2023
