A Life's True Gift

Eternal Thread 

When twilight whispers secrets to the stars,
And moonlight dances soft upon the sea,
I think of fate, its ever-winding scars,
That led my soul through time to find thee.

Life's winding road, so rugged and unclear,
Held shadows deep, where dreams would fade and fall,
Yet through the dark, your light drew ever near,
A voice of hope, a whisper through it all.

Two hearts once lost now beat in perfect rhyme,
As if the heavens wove our paths as one,
A thread unbroken, stretching out through time,
Bound by the stars, beneath both moon and sun.

For life’s true gift is love we cannot see,
A timeless vow: "You are my destiny." 

Poem by American poet Bryan Taylor  

~ Happy St. Valentine's Day to all ~

 

Image: Eternal Love - Scupture by the Polish sculptor Igor Mitoraj (1944-2014)

Have You Kissed A Frog Yet?

It wasn't a kiss that changed the frog, but the fact that a young girl looked beneath warts and slime and believed she saw a prince. So he became one. - Richelle E. Goodrich 

Happy St. Valentine's Day!

Harmony and Love

Harmony 

is one phase of the law 

whose spiritual 

expression is 

love. 

 James Allen

Image: "The Bug And The Wild Rose... In Perfect Harmony" by Dominique Teng©2016

How to Destroy a Relationship in a Few Easy Steps

So, you have been waiting for this one ideal person and here she or he is. As soon as the love rush is over you start working on your lover like a sculptor trying to improve what bothers you. Stop, or you will destroy your relationship. But if this is what you really want, here is how to do it right.
 

By Gina Lake

• Be honest about everything you don't like about your partner. 
• Get angry every time your partner doesn't live up to your expectations or do what you want. Or whine and complain a lot or withhold sex. 
• Try to improve your partner and shape him or her into your ideal mate, presumably for his or her own good. 
• Expect your partner to make you feel good and make you happy. 
• Blame your partner whenever anything goes wrong. 
• Remind your partner of his or her past mistakes. 
• Carry a negative image around of your partner, and notice all the ways your partner fits that image. 
• Reinforce your negative image of your partner by complaining about him or her to your friends. 
• Don't notice all the good and helpful things your partner does or what you love about your partner, just what he or she doesn't do well or what you don't like. 
• Expect your partner to change just because you want him or her to change. 
• Express your negative feelings to your partner whenever they come up. 
•  Don't do things just to please him or her. •Don't ever say "I'm sorry," "Thank you," or other nice things. 
• Fantasize about being with someone else, especially while you're having sex with your partner. 
•  Constantly process your feelings with your partner. Try to be each other's therapist. We all have done these things in our relationships. We do some of these things because doing them is the path of least resistance, even though the results don't bring us the love we want. In other cases, we believe it is the way to relate to others. 

However, relationships work much better when certain principles are followed. Here are just a few:

• Keep your judgments and negative thoughts and feelings to yourself. If there is something you don't like about your partner, the problem is not your partner, but that you don't like something. Once you realize this, it is possible to choose love over your preferences and desires. When we choose to accept our partner the way he or she is, love flows outward from within us to our partner, and that love is likely to be returned. But when we judge or try to change our partner to fit our "needs," expectations, and preferences, it is not a loving act: We stop the outflow of love from within us, and we are likely to stop the outflow of love from within the person we are judging or trying to change. Judgment stops and eventually kills love. No matter what you think or what you might prefer, your opinions, judgments, beliefs, and desires are not more important than love. If you make them more important than love, you will lose love.
• Recognize and express gratitude often for what you appreciate about your partner. Notice what you love, and ignore and don't focus on what you don't like. Noticing what you love will get the love flowing between you. Noticing what you don't like will stop the love flowing.
• Don't bring the past into the present moment. The past is gone, and only the present moment is real. Respond to the person who is in front of you, not to your images and ideas about him or her that you carry around with you. Try to see your partner freshly in this moment. And don't bring fantasies into the present moment. Be with the one you are with fully for as long as you are with that person. Don't waste your attention on memories or fantasies. Put your attention on what is real and true now. Love flows to whatever you give your attention to. If you give your attention to memories and fantasies, you won't be giving it to the real person in front of you. Love is attention.
• Take responsibility for your feelings. If you have a negative feeling, you created it by telling yourself something. What did you just tell yourself that caused you to feel that way? Your partner can't cause you to feel a certain way, and it isn't in his or her power to change how you feel. You create your experience of life by what you tell yourself about life and whatever is happening.
• Let your partner be the way he or she is. You are not in this world to change and improve your partner. That is your partner's business - and life's. Life has a way of evolving all of us. Accepting others is the greatest gift you can give them, and they will love you for that.
• Make yourself happy. It isn't your partner's responsibility to make you happy. Learn to be happy within yourself. Happiness isn't something you get from something or someone outside yourself, but an attitude that you choose. You become happy by choosing to love life just as it happens to be showing up in the moment and by choosing to love your partner just as he or she happens to be showing up in the moment.

Image source here

Happy St. Valentine's Day!

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. - Ann Landers 

Happy St. Valentines Day to all! 

Happy St. Valentine's Day!

Love never dies a natural death. 
It dies because we don't know 
how to replenish its source. 
It dies of blindness 
and errors and 
betrayals. 
It dies of illness and wounds; 
it dies of weariness, 
of witherings, 
of tarnishings. 

Anaïs Nin

Wishing everyone a very happy and sensual St. Valentine's Day! 

Keep your love alive! ~ Dominique

Pheromones

You might have heard the word, but what exactly are pheromones? 

The word pheromone derives from the ancient Greek words phero (to bear, carry) and ormé (impetus). This term was coined by two German scientists in the 1950s. It describes the chemical signals that trigger responses in members of the same species. There are few types of pheromones that serve a different purpose. There are alarm pheromones, food trail pheromones, sex pheromones, territory markers, and many others that affect behavior or physiology of a particular species. Since pheromones are widely used by animals for communication and to attract mates, scientists also believe that pheromones may play similar role in humans.

Humans posses a tiny organ situated in the nasal cavity that serves as the body's receptor for pheromones. This organ is called the vomeronasal (VNO) or Jaconson's organ. It sends the signals that it receives from the pheromones to the human brain. The brain dictates the response of the body, which becomes evident in the human behavior.

Many studies were conducted to find out how pheromones work in humans. Interestingly, Swedish experts have used the latest brain imaging technology and discovered that both, homosexual males and heterosexual females, reacted in the same way when they were exposed to male pheromones. This and many other studies are widely documented in medicinal journals. It is no wonder then that the industry took notice of this research. 

Pheromones belong to the sphere of the non-verbal communication. They work in a "mysterious" way to attract one human being to another and are what we call the "chemistry" of love. 

Many people are successfully using pheromone products to enhance their own likability in social settings or to attract sexual partners. Pheromone products help enhance our own chemical "signature" making us more attractive to others independently from our physique. People who normally have difficulty finding a partner report incredible success with the use of supplemental pheromones. 

There are pheromones for men and for women, both heterosexual and gay. They come in unscented versions or as perfumes and colognes, and are to be used externally for that extra something that makes one more attractive in social settings or, if desired,  absolutely irresistible to others.

Give it a try and see what happens. 

By Dominique Allmon

Image source here

No Safe Investment

Modesty (detail) by William Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905)

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. 

If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. 

The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.

The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell. I believe that the most lawless and inordinate loves are less contrary to God’s will than a self-invited and self-protective lovelessness… We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armor.

If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as a way in which they should break, so be it. What I know about love and believe about love and giving ones heart began in this. 

 

C.S. Lewis in The Four Loves

 

Image source here

Only Once in Your Life...

By Bob Marley

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. 

When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. 

Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. 

You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life. 

  Wishing everyone a very happy St. Valentine's Day ♥ Dominique

If You Really Loved Me You Would Eat Garlic

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. 
- Neil Gaiman

What does love have to do with garlic? Exactly! Nothing. Nothing at all. I borrowed the title from the brilliant Paul Watzlawick. In his book "The Situation Is Hopeless But Not Serious" he describes a situation that is staged and played with virtuosity by many couples:

A husband comes home from work and his wife announces that the dinner is almost ready. She's got a new recipe and wants him to try it. She serves the dinner and after a moment of silence asks her husband if he likes the food. If he likes the food everything is all right and they  both can look forward into a pleasant evening. But if he doesn't like the food things become very complicated. The poor man knows that she will be offended and maybe even angry if he doesn't like the food. But if he tells her he likes it she may be inclined to cook it more often. To save his own skin he tells her that this dish has an interesting taste and continues eating quietly hoping that there is no second serving.

Now imagine that the man is brave enough and tells his wife he does not like the food she is serving and she really gets upset. She tells him that she went through so much trouble, got all the ingredients and spent hours preparing the meal and he is ungrateful and does not even like the food. He probably does not even love her because if he did he would appreciate her sacrifice. She could have spent her afternoon reading or watching TV, but instead wasted it in the kitchen... This probably is only the first act of a drama that will continue for the rest of the evening. Accusation, grudges, tears.

This is quite hilarious and you may wonder how it is even possible that people behaved like that. Well, believe me, it is possible. I know a man who hated grapes, but ate them for ten years to please his wife. On their 10th anniversary he told her that he actually hated grapes and would not touch a single one till the end of his life. The wife was speechless. When she asked him why he did not tell her about it earlier he simply stated that he did not want to make her angry or unhappy because she always went to so much trouble to buy the ripest and tastiest grapes she could only get.

Food is only one example. But how many man end up in theaters watching romances or going to boring parties. How many women go hiking or end up watching a baseball game to please the partner. How many things are done out of fear of loosing the loved one.

If you really loved me you would...

We may laugh, but you know what? Laughter actually freezes on my lips. Relationships based on fear have no chance of survival and have nothing to do with love. Our love does not give us any right to manipulate or subjugate the person we love. We have no right to control the person we love or decide what is right for him or her. We cannot demand to be loved and we cannot force anyone to like what we like because they love us. We do not threaten or blackmail those who love us and we do not sell our love for a plate of a bad gourmet soup. We must accept that the person we love is a free human being, free to stay and free to go.

So many tragedies, small and big ones, could be avoided if people trusted one another and communicated with honesty; but most importantly, if they did not bind their love or happiness to conditions and treated their partners as their equals.

Dominique Allmon

Dominique Allmon©2014

Celebration of Love

Happy St. Valentine’s Day to those who have found love, in whatever shape or form, and to those who are still hunting, don’t give up. If you feel bad, send yourself a card. You must be worth it… - Jeanette Winterson

Love is precious and should be celebrated every day. Never take love for granted! And do not forget to love yourself.

 

Wishing everyone happy and fabulous St. Valentine’s Day - Dominique ♥

Extreme Weather

The wind blew my words away from you. So while I told you I love you, the phrase was carried in the opposite direction and landed 333 miles away in the ears of a confused farmer. He was nice, though. He sent me a kind letter saying that while he was flattered, I wasn’t really his type. - Jarod Kintz in "The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over"

The Most Powerful Hallucinogen

The most powerful hallucinogen on this planet is called love.
Highly addictive! You will see and hear things that don’t exist.

Paulo Coehlo

Agent Orange Is No More

Agent Orange

The sweetest orange cat ever is no more. The noisy creature found its way to our home and we hoped he will live with us forever. Unfortunately, this stray alley cat was very sick. His kidneys gave up and he was in a lot of pain. To end his suffering we had to make the most difficult decision ever. He will be missed beyond words. May his pure kitty soul frolic in cats' heaven. -Dominique

Happy St. Valentine's Day!

Sensuality

The body is an instrument which only gives off music when it is used as a body. Always an orchestra... And just as music traverses walls, sensuality traverses the body and reaches up to ecstasy. - Anaïs Nin

Wishing everyone a very happy and sensual St. Valentine's Day ♥ Dominique

Happy Saint Valentine's Day!

I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours. - Nicholas Sparks 

Happy Saint Valentine's Day!

Sensual Gifts for Saint Valentine's Day

Every year people all over the world celebrate St.Valentine's Day on the February 14. This is a day when we tell friends that we love and remember them. This is a day when relationships get infused with new romantic passion. This is the day on which we celebrate love. The whole industry was created around this innocent celebration and millions of greeting cards, chocolate boxes, red roses, and other gifts exchange hands on this day.

Many people call St.Valentine's Day a Hallmark Holiday, but the tradition of St.Valentine's Day is much older than a Hallmark company. It is believed to have originated from the pagan customs of the third or fourth century B.C., where Lupercalia Festival was celebrated in Ancient Rome in mid-February. At this time young men underwent their rites of passage rituals. This was also a time when young boys and girls who normally lived separately, were brought together. Celebrated by the Victorians, St. Valentine's Day went into oblivion for quite some time and was later revived by the Hallmark company. So, at least, the story goes... The holiday is well placed in the middle of winter to warm up our spirits and celebrate a little. Friends and lovers exchange greetings and love tokens and from time to time some of them look for a very special and original gift. So, what to give this year?

♥ Red roses

Red rose is a symbol of passion and desire for love. Most women love the idea of receiving flowers and few dislike roses. Roses are very versatile and can be used in many ways to excite the senses. Try something different this year. Spread rose petals from the entrance to a beautifully decorated dinner table. Cook a saffron risotto with shredded fresh rose petals or spice your meat stew with a mixture of dried rose petals, nutmeg, dried orange peel, black pepper, and cloves. Mix spices together adding generous portion of rose petals and grind the mixture to a coarse powder. Make a rose petal ice cream for dessert. Use organically grown flowers if you can. Decorate your bedroom with rose petals marking the way from the entrance to your bed or prepare a sensual bath for two with rose petals and the essential rose oil. Do not forget the candles, but be careful not to add to much of the rose scent all at once. 

♥ Chocolates

Chocolate is known to have aphrodisiac properties and was used as such since the ancient times. Already the Aztec king Montezuma sought help in a cup of spiced cocoa before embarking on his amorous adventures with his consorts. There are many different kinds of chocolates on the market. Chose those that are spiced with exotic spices and use them with your partner to explore the olfactory and gustatory sensations that chocolate and spices bring out. What can come out of it is left to your own imagination.

♥ Dinner for two

Saint Valentine's Day is a perfect occasion to indulge. Some fine restaurants offer a special menu for lovers and a fine wine to go with it. Candle light, fine china, romantic music, and foods that not only will excite your taste buds, but are intended to heat your passion as well. Go easy on the wine as it may numb your senses and this is not what you want on St. Valentine's night. Those who want to combine their passion for cooking with a passion for a partner will probably prefer to stay at home and prepare the dinner themselves. There are countless libido enhancing recipes. Some of the most exciting ingredients are:

asparagus

oysters

arugula

Perigord truffles

dark chocolate

ginger

nutmeg

real vanilla

figs

raspberries

Use your cooking talent to create a lasting sensual experience. Address all the senses but leave some space for imagination and naughtiness. Create sensual ambiance that will allow intimacy to unfold, especially when you and your partner live under the same roof. The element of surprise adds a new accent into your relationship. 

♥ Night out

You might want to do something different this year. Here comes an extravagant idea, that may change your relationship forever. If your budget permits, book a hotel room in advance and let your sweetheart know that you plan something very special on St. Valentine's Day. Ask her or him not to plan anything for that evening, but do not reveal your secret. Check with the hotel their room service menu and find out if they have any special arrangements for that day. Have the hotel prepare the dining table for the occasion. Find out if they have bathrobes in the room. Pack some toiletries and everything else you both may need that night. Keep a bottle of organic lotion for a sensual massage ready in the room. There is no better way to connect with the person you love after a day of work than through a gentle, relaxing, loving massage.

Check in to the hotel as early as you can and decorate it with scented candles. Put the champagne bottle into an ice cooler. Leave a rose petal trail between the entrance and the bed. Pick up your sweetheart from work and take him or her straight to the hotel. Call the room service to deliver the prearranged menu and enjoy your time. An intimate evening away from home may have an unexpected impact on your love relationship. It will be greatly appreciated and not lightly forgotten.

Saint Valentine's day gives a great opportunity to revive relationships or to add more passion to the daily routine. Very often we forget that love is something very precious and special. Sometimes we take our relationships for granted and wonder where did all the excitement go. It should never be difficult to show our partner that we love him or her. Celebrate love as often as you can. Add more passion to your life. It does not have to be St. Valentine's day to have a romantic breakfast in bed. 

 

 By Dominique Allmon

Sensual Gifts for St. Valentine's Day by Dominique Allmon is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Love Yourself

Simple things are always the most difficult. In actual life it requires the greatest art to be simple, and so acceptance of oneself is the essence of the moral problem and the acid test of one’s whole outlook on life. That I feed the beggar, that I forgive an insult, that I love my enemy… all these are undoubtedly great virtues…

But what if I should discover that the least amongst them all, the poorest of all beggars, the most impudent of all offenders, yea, the very fiend himself - that these are within me, and that I myself stand in need of the alms of my own kindness, that I myself am the enemy who must be loved - what then?

By Carl Gustav Jung

Image source unknown but greatly appreciated

All I Want Is to Love You

All I want is to love you

for the rest of my life...

to wake up every morning

with you by my side,

knowing that no matter what happens,

I'll be able to come home

to your loving arms.

All I want is to share everything with you...

to talk to you about our ideas,

our dreams, the little everyday things

that make us laugh,

and the not-so-little things

that we can't help worrying about.

All I want is to give you my love...

as a place you can always

come to for acceptance

or the simple comfort that silence brings

when things left unspoken

can still be understood.

All I want is to grow old with you...

to watch our life unfold,

our dreams, one by one, come true.

All I want is to love you forever.

By Renee Duvall

Love

People are starving for love, not knowing their heart is a magical kitchen. Open your heart. Open your magical kitchen and refuse to walk around the world begging for love. In your heart is all the love you need. Your heart can create any amount of love, not just for yourself, but for the whole world. - Don Miguel Ruiz, Mexican writer