“How beautifully leaves grow old.
How full of light and color are their last days.”
- John Burroughs
Image by Dominique Allmon©2025
“How beautifully leaves grow old.
How full of light and color are their last days.”
- John Burroughs
Image by Dominique Allmon©2025
Ahamkara mudra is one of the most powerful mudras for self-assertion and confidence. It helps the practitioner to combat fear, and dispel timidity and find his or her center of being. This mudra activates the Manipura chakra (solar plexus chakra) and is used when self-doubt arises and more courage is needed.
Ahamkara is a Sanskrit term to describe egoism, self-conceit or the self-consciousness. The word means literally "I-maker."
To form ahamkara mudra bend your index finger slightly. Place your thumb on the middle phalanx of the index finger and exert a slight pressure Keep the middle, ring and small fingers stretched out but relaxed.
In this mudra the thumb represents Brahman or the ultimate reality of the universe; the index finger represents ego, or ahamkara. The ego bends down and submits to Brahman. But this mudra also has a second meaning that includes the elements. The index finger is associated with the air element; the thumb is the fire finger. When the fire is placed on the bent air, the hand gesture represents clarity, harmony, and the alignment of the mind with devotion.
Thus, the ahamkara mudra represents both humility as well as the self-awareness, self-confidence, and trust in one's own deep intuition.
Ahamkara mudra should be formed with both hands during meditation. You should be able to hold it for a few minutes and perform it on regular basis, especially if fear and doubt dominate your daily affairs. This mudra will help you strengthen your will to face difficulties without fear. It will empower you and give you courage on your personal journey.
By Dominique Allmon
Dominique Allmon©2025
"Gardening is cheaper than therapy and you get tomatoes." – Unknown
Unless you lost a loved one you will never understand the avalanche of emotions that overwhelms the minds, the hearts and the souls of those bereaved.
I lost my husband in December 2023, short before Christmas. I lost the love of my life, my best friend, my companion. I lost my home, my garden, my dogs and my cats. My husband's daughter told me that "now, that my husband was dead, I could finally go back to my life". I wish I could "go back" to my life. I wish I could return to the time long before Jim's cancer diagnosis, when life was good and dreams were still possible.
One of the most important things in life is to never define yourself or your happiness by your possessions or the people in your life. You should be able to be happy even if you lost everything. I always understood that happiness was an inside job but I never imagined how I would cope with the loss if it actually happened in my life.
When you and your spouse are so completely connected that you become one mind, one soul, a sudden loss of your "other half" leaves an incredible emptiness. Nothing in your life prepares you for such a tragedy. Your world is completely shattered in an instant. You cannot "return to your life" and you don't simply move on. You survive and if you are lucky, you will slowly learn how to live again.
My husband's 2021 stage IV renal cell carcinoma diagnosis came as a shock to both of us. We hoped that he would be able to beat the disease, but we also knew that our days together were somewhat numbered. Still, his passing in December 2023 came unexpectedly. Five months later, one of our puppies died in the custody of my husband's daughter. An unimaginable void opened after these two deaths and unbearable pain became my companion ever since.
Interaction with my late husband's daughter in the weeks that followed his passing left me heartbroken and traumatized. Although my husband left me everything he had, I renounced my inheritance believing that his daughter and her big family would have a better use for it. Despite my generosity I was threatened with physical violence and had to face evil I was not prepared for. Because of a nasty trick I lost my husband twice. Lies, deception, fraud. Till today I cannot understand how my sweet husband could have even been related to a person without honor, conscience or decency. If he had witnessed what transpired after his death, he would have been angry and disappointed, and he would never allow this to happen, but that's material for a book that probably will never be written. Dealing with the loss of your loved one takes up all your energy, but to deal with pure, premeditated evil at the same time when you didn't even know it existed, is beyond anyone's imagination.
We all have our big and small tragedies and I am aware that nobody cares about my story. However, if you are broke, broken and depressed like me or feel stuck in your current emotional state for any reason, you may want to try something different for a change if you do not want to see a therapist.
Healing takes time and requires a lot of strength if one doesn't want to lose one's mind or drown in anger, resentment and self pity. Some things cannot ever be repaired. You will never be the same. You do not move on. You cannot really recover from your loss. The grief will never go away. All you can do is to learn to cope, accept the things the way they are and try to somehow mend the broken heart, if this is even possible.
Grief is not a linear process. Everyone experiences it differently. The extreme emotional pain you feel after the loss of a loved one can profoundly affect your emotional and physical health. Finding something that will give you sense of purpose and accomplishment could help during the time of grief.
Gardening seems like one such thing that could help a grieving person to deal with the avalanche of emotions. It is an active exercise in mindfulness. It requires willingness to learn, concentration and many hours of work every day. Getting your fingers dirty is actually healthy and quite relaxing. Spending a lot of time outside and watching the plants you planted grow and move through their cycles of life can help you take your mind off your pain and connect with nature in a most healing way. You not only observe the cycles of life but also learn to accept the impermanence of things.
I no longer have a large garden so I started a small, bio-dynamic one on my balcony. I no longer have cats or dogs so I make friends with bumble bees and wasps. I thank the bees for pollinating my plants. I thank the wasps for keeping my plants free from aphids and other vermin. Watching things grow in my garden gives me some joy and comfort while I am trying to sort through memories from a much happier time.
Growing, harvesting and cooking your own food is probably one of the most satisfying experiences any gardener can have.
Although I completely lost my appetite I know that being able to prepare a meal from the fruits of one's diligent labor is a vital element of self care and cannot be underestimated during the time of mourning.
Most days are very difficult for me. I hardly sleep anymore and I could probably water my small garden with all the tears I am shedding. I know that my beloved husband would not want me to let myself go so I try to pull myself together. Watching things grow fills my heart with gratitude. I take my morning coffee and read books in my garden just like we both used to do on so many mornings. I harvest my vegetables and prepare my meals the way I did for both of us. I don't even need to close my eyes to see my husband's smile as he is waiting for the salad dressing I am making.
We promised each other to be together forever. He never left. He just moved to another plane of existence and is waiting there for me...
By Dominique Allmon
Post scriptum
Cancer seems to be a nightmare my husband's family has to deal with. On May 7, 2025 my husband's son James William Jr. passed away only two moths before his 50th birthday. May he too rest in peace.
Dominique Allmon©2025
"We don't need other worlds. We need mirrors." - Stanisław Lem in "Solaris"
Stanisław Lem (September 12, 1921 - March 26, 2006) was a Polish science fiction writer, futurist, philosopher, and essayist. His works have been translated into forty one languages, "Solaris" being probably his best known.
If you look the right way,
you can see that the whole world is a garden.
- Frances Hodgson Burnett in "The Secret Garden"
Happy first day of Spring!
Image: Flower Garden - Gustav Klimt, oil on canvass. The Golden Phase, 1905 - 1907
Bluebonnet, bluebonnet, blooming anew
Proudly and loudly, your entrance you make,
Infant of nature asplash in the dew.
- from a poem "Dayspring Bluebonnet" by Alan S Jeeves
Image: Fragment of the painting "Early Spring - Bluebonnets and Mesquite" by Julian Onderdonk, 1919
Poem source here
Nothing ever exists entirely alone.
Everything is in relation to everything else.
- Buddha
Image: Pecos Valley Diamonds by Dominique Allmon ©2025
We were like soldiers exposed every minute to a danger of dying, but we couldn't help ourselves, because we have nothing for our defense except the will to survive. But will not always was enough, because very often, in most cases, the prisoner died. - Jan Komski in an interview on January 30, 1992
In Chinese mythology the snake is a symbol of yin or the dark female energy in the Universe. Although feared as portent of danger, snakes were revered by the ancient Chinese as the symbol of mysterious forces.
The snake is the sixth sign in the Chinese Zodiac, which
consists of twelve animal signs. According to an old tale, the snake was the sixth animal that finished the Grand Race organized by the Jade Emperor. There is also a Buddhist story about the twelve animals that were invited to a banquet given by the Buddha. The snake made it sixth, right after the dragon. Cunning and clever, the snake took a ride on a horse's back and slithered to the banquet right before the horse.
In Taoism the snake was regarded as a symbol of immortality, spiritual advancement and transformation.
Snakes are the most enigmatic, intuitive,
and introspective, but also the most stubborn of all the animals in the Chinese Zodiac. Snakes are considered to be a symbol of rebirth, transformation, wisdom, and intuition. They represent the power of subtle persuasion and influence. They are resourceful, cunning and creative.
Ancient teachings tell us that merely seeing the Medicine Buddha, or even seeing an image of the Medicine Buddha, or hearing the name of the Medicine Buddha, can confer inconceivable benefits. - Spiritual Bliss
Bhaisajyaguru, commonly known as the Medicine Buddha, is the Buddha of healing and medicine in Mahayana Buddhism. He is a fully enlightened being capable of healing both, the outer and the inner, suffering or dukkha by applying his teachings as medicine. He has unbiased compassion for all sentient beings. He offers protection from physical harm and mental afflictions, as well as other dangers and obstacles. He helps the faithful to eradicate the three unwholesome roots (poisons) or kleshas of attachment, hatred and ignorance that are considered to be the source of all suffering.
In a Sanskrit manuscript called Medicine Buddha Sutra (Bhaisajya-guru-vaiḍūrya-prabhā-rāja Sūtra) he was described as a bodhisattva who upon enlightenment made twelve great vows:
The idea of Buddha as a metaphorical healer is as old as Buddhism itself and goes back to the historical Buddha who found the cure for suffering and presented his formula as the Four Noble Truths.
Medicine Buddha is one of the emanations of the Gautama Buddha as understood in Mahayana Buddhism. He is venerated in China, Japan and Tibet. He is often depicted as a seated Buddha with a stem of the Aruna fruit (Terminalia chebula) wearing the three robes of a Buddhist monk, sometimes blue-faced or having a blue body and holding a lapis lazuli medicine bottle.
Bhaisajyaguru (Medicine Buddha) Mantra
namo bhagavate bhaiṣajyaguru
vaidūryaprabharājāya tathāgatāya arhate
samyaksambuddhāya tadyathā:
oṃ bhaiṣajye bhaiṣajye
bhaiṣajya-samudgate svāhā
The practice of Medicine Buddha is considered to be a very powerful tool for liberation from suffering. The faithful recite either the dharani or the mantra that helps them overcome the inner "sickness" of attachment, hatred and ignorance. It also helps ease the outer, physical suffering and purify the negative karma.
By Dominique Allmon
Dominique Allmon©2025
Images: Medicine Buddha by Dominique Allmon
Man has gone out to explore other worlds and other civilizations without having explored his own labyrinth of dark passages and secret chambers, and without finding what lies behind doorways that he himself has sealed. - Stanisław Lem, Solaris (1961)
Stanisław Lem on AI and Consciousness
We may not solve the riddle of consciousness in the coming millennium, but we may be able to imitate intelligence so perfectly that, surrounded by legions and swarms of imitations, we will come more and more closely under their protective tutelage.
Nowadays we are offered veritable orchards of electronic apples of paradise, which will inevitably have both good and bad sides, because such is the ambivalent nature of things.
Our greatest achievements, secondary or not secondary to biology, have served us to destroy the biosphere and to engage in vile war games, and finally, a great deal of what we have already managed to create on the way to the yet-to-be-achieved artificial intelligence often serves to foolishness, amusement, and eccentricities that are incomprehensible to me.
I have read many works and books that absolutize the possibility of creating a non-human intelligence, as well as a no smaller collection of well-motivated justifications that are supposed to prove to the reader that this concept cannot and will never be realized. It is indeed difficult to rise above the crowd of such contradictory and expertly justified opinions.
Without a multitude of dreams, attempts, disasters, there would be no aviation. Without constant assaults, artificial intelligence cannot appear.
I am convinced that both the quantity and quality of these programs, directed especially at successive generations of computers working in parallel and at contaminating clusters of pseudo-neural networks, will achieve an expanding range of efficiency and thus will increasingly imitate the presence of an intelligent consciousness, and will even be taken by many people for a person or a personality embodied in a machine. In a sense, this will be a fraud practiced on people as interlocutors or collaborators of the machine, because imitators of this kind will not yet possess authentic, personally localized, conscious intelligence, called psychic life.
The title of Carrel's old book "Man, the Unknown Creature" is still relevant. Not only do we not know ourselves, but we also do not know how we will behave in unforeseen situations. I do not know whether the insights that will eventually make it possible to create artificial intelligence will be good for our health. Let's hope so.
From "The Blink of an Eye" by Stanisław Lem, (2000)
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