When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to
you in every situation you will have peace despite rejection or
disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the
negative energy of fear and regret. - Shannon L. Alder
Dear Ms. Alder! I know someone who was put in a situation
like this not that long ago. He not only spoke his mind, but also consciously
decided that nothing has the power to throw him off the chosen path and
I admire him for his strength and determination.
See, a dear friend of mine joined a group of people
who decided to make a major change in their lives. They were working
hard for more than twenty weeks: weekly webinars, very long daily reading
assignments, weekly blogging and networking with other participants of a
program.
I will not go into details here, but for the
sake of clarity I want you to understand that the program was designed
to help people discover their hidden potential and to develop a so called
Master Mind.
My friend is a man of exceptional qualities
and integrity. He is a former Marine who served in the Vietnam War at a
very young age. He worked on B1 Lancer and also in the Space Shuttle
Program at the Space Center in Florida, but is very humble about his
personal achievements. He joined the above mentioned program out of
personal need for change. And for weeks he worked diligently reading, writing and
networking.
The Master Mind program is a very powerful
tool and it requires a lot of self-discipline. It addresses personality, character, behavior, physical body and spirituality. Many people embrace the program with hope for grand changes in their lives, while others drop out
after first few weeks when they realize that this is not what they
expected. There are also people who continue with the program despite inner doubt. And some will not bother to do what they were asked to do by the organizers. They do not write blog posts and do not have much interaction with others. But not my dear friend. He worked hard from the
very beginning despite the fact that he works full time, has a long
distance relationship and has to take care of three young, demanding pets.
The program required a great dose of
introspection and at some point, as participants progress in their
self-discovery, they are forced to change their entire life philosophy.
The entire framework of habits and beliefs collapses as they look deeper
and deeper into their souls. Personal growth and transformation are very painful processes at any age, but I believe that fully formed
adults suffer more than younger people. They have to revise and reevaluate
everything they have learned and done in their lives, and have to face
incredible inner resistance to change that comes from within and from without. They have to
overcome the strong temptation to give up and return to the safe zone they cultivated for years if not decades.
Only the very strong and determined participants continue despite a
genuine emotional pain and they receive very little little support when you consider that some of them become incredibly overwhelmed and may require a therapy.
The inner change is often accompanied by
cascading events in Master Mind program participant’s life that make the day-to-day
existence even more unbearable and yet, they try to follow the program
despite the doubts that surface from time to time.
This was exactly what happened to my dear friend
after one of the last assignments he received. The inner struggle slowed him down and he did
not publish his latest blog-post on time as it was required of him. What followed next borders on ridicule and reminds me of a first grade
school experience. He was told that he was disturbing the harmony and
was punished with exclusion from the program like a first grade pupil
who got suspended from school for misbehaving. Rules are rules and you
will be punished if you don’t follow them.
There was no room for emotional or spiritual support. No tolerance for a man in crisis.
The most interesting thing in the whole
situation was, though, that my dear friend did not break down completely. He was so strong and
so wise, and so much beyond the framework of the program! I believe
that he simply arrived at the crossroads where the program did not work
for him anymore. He had the courage to speak his mind and I admire him
for that. The “punishment” only precipitated his "liberation" from constraints and a decision to continue
walking on his own chosen path.
I do not intend to make a judgment
about the program, but as an objective observer I have an opinion and it
is a valid one. The whole program sets inner processes in motion, but the
participants are left alone without much psychological support when
catharsis occurs unexpectedly. This is quite irresponsible.
Most participants face their pain bravely
and try to use help of their support groups. What they need while moving on is empathy and support, not punishment and
exclusion. Such actions remind me of dubious gurus who punish and ostracize their pupils at will to exert desire behavior and submission.
Many people face punishment, exclusion and
power play in their daily lives. Only the very strong can survive without a scar. Such a casual “mistreatment” in the Master Mind program seems a bit out of place, but it can also be used to some advantage. It may help
strengthen participants who were let go. A few weeks earlier they might
have become desperate and even depressed, but now they are strong enough to deal with the
situation and maybe even laugh about it. Just like my friend!
By Dominique Allmon
Dominique Allmon©2015
